[EWE] Saturday Night's ShowDown #33 - 01/14/12

Fri Jun 16, 2023 8:40 pm

RESULT: VICTORY

SHOW LINK: Click Here

Fri Jun 16, 2023 8:41 pm

STATS
Name: Jay Jobber
HomeTown: Reno, NV
Theme: "Rockstar" by Miley Cyrus

EWE Record
11-10-00
Singles Record
05-09-00
Tag Record
06-01-00

Achievements
1x Tag Team Champion
Most Shocking 2010 (Ran the Tag Gauntlet with Dustin)
Best Faction 2011 (Jobber Squad)

Power 15
Current: NR
Peak: NR
Total Appearences: 0

Power 15 2.0
Peak: #4 (Wk 30)
Total Appearences: 21

Noobslobbers
Abdul Q
Ash Valentyne
Assassin
Blue Panther
Brandon Hardy (x2)
Brandon Lee
Chris Warren
Dean Winchester
Dutch Clark
The Hurricane
Jeff Hardy (x2)
Johnny Chaos
JTG
Matt Hardy (x2)
Mohammad Asif
Rocco J. Abrams
Ronnie Styles
Sabre Fly
Sean Lewis (x2)
Shad Gaspard
Shawn Michaels
Slade Craven
Triple H
White Tiger

The scene opens on one of the greatest superstars in all of the entire EWE History, discounting anyone who's last name isn't Jobber and first name isn't Jay. Jay is in a locker room, presumably his own, but whatever the case, he doesn't seem very happy.

JAY JOBBER
I am here to tell you, I'm not a happy Camper..

I just said that, but ok.

JAY JOBBER
I am here to talk about a very important issue. One of the biggest Travesties in all of EWE History. I don't know who did it, but it the worst thing to ever occur in this company. I will be filing a complaint on the guilty culprit and I can only hope the management see's this horrible act and follows suite by making them pay me the fines in damages and SUSPENDS THEM INDEFINATELY!

Jay holds up a CD, with a clear cut scratch on it.

JAY JOBBER
SOMEONE SCRATCHED ONE OF MY MILEY CYRUS CD'S!

Jay gets very serious as he display's the cd.

JAY JOBBER
THIS IS SERIOUS BUISNESS! We're not talking about something stupid or minor like killing my mother...no! YOU SCRATCHED MY CD!

Jay puts the CD down when he hears water running in the background. He glances over to the right side of the screen and smiles, seeming lost in a gaze. Finally he snaps out of it and returns to what he was saying.

JAY JOBBER
To whoever did this shameless act of pure evil, you shall hope the EWE Management gives you what you deserve. For if they don't, I will seek who you are, bend you over, and give you The Penitration of Justice!!

Jay pauses, looking off screen again. After a moment he looks back to the camera.

JAY JOBBER
Now to less important matters. I have a match on Monday Night Chaos...err...I mean Wednesday Night Xplosion.......no...no I got it...I have a Tag Match with my brother, tonight..live...ON SATURDAY NIGHT....NITRO!

Jay seems proud of himself, despite being completely off with a complete different deceased company.

JAY JOBBER
On Nitro we shall take on The Rock n Roll Noobslobbers...Johnny Chaos and Kibble...wait, Johnny Chaos is back?!

no, you just fucked up both their names you idiot.

JAY JOBBER
This is huge! I get to prove last time was no fluke! when my father passed out on Ronnie Styless and we got the victory over Johnny's team! No matter, Johnny and Kibble you better not be the ones who scratched my CD, for I promise I will grab your most prized posessions, and Jerk the criminal spirt juice right out of the both of you!

as the water sound stops Jay looks over again and his eyes light up. He continues gawking before finally snapping out of it and looking back to the camera.

JAY JOBBER
You noobslobbers be ready, because guilty or not, this is for my CD!

????
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?!

The camera turns to see Abby Addiction standing in the bathroom doorway, of what we now reckognize as HER locker room. She's got a towel wrapped around her body as Jay stares dumbfounded.

JAY JOBBER
I...uh...we should hook up.

ABBY ADDICTION
Gross...just...gross...no way..

JAY JOBBER
Why not?

ABBY ADDICTION
Trust me...it's never going to happen, nor will it. Just get out so I can get dressed.

JAY JOBBER
Can't I wa..

ABBY ADDICTION
NO! OUT!!

Abby points to the door, nearly losing her towel, Jay smiles at this, but she quickly recovers. Jay then bows his head and leaves the room. Abby turns and looks at the camera man.

ABBY ADDICTION
Yes, that means you too.

The Camera drops down a little bit, I guess he bowed his head too. The Camera goes out of the room as the scene fades away.

STATS
Name: Jaylina Jobber
HomeTown: Reno, NV
Theme: "Best of Both Worlds" by Miley Cyrus

EWE Record
02-03-00
Singles Record
01-01-00
Tag Record
01-02-00

Achievements
N/A

Power 15
Current: #12
Peak: #11 (Wks 4 & 5)
Total Appearences: 4

BoobyBonked
Lita
Madelyne "Shadow" Wright
Morgan Carson

[EWE] Saturday Night's ShowDown #33 - 01/14/12

[EWE] Saturday Night's ShowDown #33 - 01/14/12

Re: [EWE] Saturday Night's ShowDown #33 - 01/14/12